Who's the Grinch now?

Well it’s December 27 and the Boyd family can confirm they’ve found the next candidate for Grinch. In fact I can confirm it on my own…through this Blog I would like to announce my candidacy for Grinch of the world.

Now I get frustrated by people like most, but that’s where grace comes in. Christmas time (i.e. remembering Christ’s birth and the grace that came from his actions) is when I have the least amount of it. And I’m trying to figure out why?

Christmas frustrates the hell out of me, but for reasons related to the “modern” definition of Christmas, not the original definition of Christmas. The modern definition of Christmas expects me to double my attendance to social functions, to double the hosting of social functions, and to spend a hell of a lot of time and money running around buying presents for people who, I hate to say, I can’t remember their full name. This year it’s been particularly bad. The amount of events that have been on has been mind boggling, worse still is the fact that they’ve been poorly organised and even more poorly communicated. The frustrating part is when you can’t make them you get mocked and criticised! It’s truly unbelievable…it’s like everybody’s inner “asshole” factor comes to the forefront and if your not able to make time for them and their event then you’re a bad person!

The next part has to be the traffic. I struggle with traffic on most days. It’s why I always work 10am-6pm, because I avoid all the traffic! I don’t think that I’m impatient but it’s more that I just hate wasting time being a sheep and doing everything at the same time as everyone else. That, and I can’t drive fast.

The final straw for me is the crowds. The crowds are made up of 2 types of people. The first type of person is like me, in a rush, flustered, wishing they were anywhere else but there. The second type of person is totally unlike myself, they have all the time in the world, they walk slower than a snail, they are oblivious to the people around them, and they crawl in packs of 4 or more, often in a horizontal line causing you to practice your touch “dummie and step” to get around them. These are the people I feel I could exterminate and be considered a hero by those first type of people, and there would be no one left of the second types of people to call me a monster. Actually here is my one and only policy announcement for my campaign for the modern Grinch, I guarantee that if I become Grinch I will establish Chinese style re-education camps to teach the second type of people in a crowd some etiquette, if they don’t respond favourably they’ll be sent to mars.

Now being the type of person I am I felt a bit challenged about why Christmas is driving me bonkers so I did what I knew to do…I sought God. He didn’t say a heck of a lot until he used Jonny on Christmas Eve. During this service Jonny spoke about “snuggles” with God. My first thought was to take his man card off him but the concept plagued me. I guess the reason it plagued me was the fact that it was a metaphor referring to intimacy with God. Intimacy with God is as common as me saying no to a game of sport. But it got me thinking: Where is God this Christmas? To be honest, I’d locked him out of December as I was far too busy.

So why do we do it? Why do we get caught up in our modern concept of Christmas instead of going back to our roots? Next year I want to change this. Next year I’m buying presents for people who I would willingly give my life for. Next year I’m attending 1 Christmas event and that’s it. What am I going to do with the rest of the time? I’m going to shut the world away and I’m going to seek God. I’m going to try and find him in the middle of the season that’s meant to be about him. So sorry Mr Key, this little revolution of mine might set us even further back fiscally as the economic downturn this would cause would be unreal.